I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
