so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
