check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
