PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
