1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The Olympian is in my bed
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