Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
