Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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