The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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