sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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