well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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