You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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