he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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