Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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