My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize