Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
