I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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