It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
