i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
