If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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