Its about making memories worth repressing
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
