It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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