Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
