she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
