He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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