He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
