if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize