You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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