our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
