You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
