you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
