Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize