No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize