yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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