Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
