i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
