How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
