Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize