If that was your dad, he is hot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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