i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
