I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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