whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
