This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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