So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
do herpes really smell.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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