he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What drink are we having for lunch?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
