also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
