Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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