i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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