I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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