hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
