i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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