We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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