***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
