dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
