why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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