Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
