please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
