Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize