Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
