Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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