Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
