it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
