I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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