I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
