Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
