help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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