Your tits are I can't wait for
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
