Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Vodka?
Forever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
