youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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