Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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