we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize