At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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