Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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