It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
