I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
