FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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