You smell like stripper and shame
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
