Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize