Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
