If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
