your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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