i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
